'She wants [me] to pay thousands so she can use [my] kids as props': Mom refuses to pay $6000 to attend to her sister-in-law's wedding abroad when she finds out her 4 young kids aren't invited to the reception

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Oct 18, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

A child free wedding reception often warrants a child free ceremony, right? Not for this bride. She wanted to use her sister-in-law's 4 kids under 6 years old as a prop for her ceremony pictures, but refused to invite them to the ceremony. The kicker? Her wedding was taking place all the way across the world, so it was all up to Mom to figure out logistics. 

Well, if a mother's kids aren't invited to a wedding, then neither is her family when you're counting on her to handle transportation, $6000 flights, a babysitter, and a whole slew of international problems that no mom wants to consider. Alas, that's why she revoked her RSVP, making waves in the group chat that made their way overseas.

If you uninvite the kids to a wedding abroad, you might as well be uninviting the mom. No parent wants to leave their kids in the hotel room while they enjoy a destination wedding, it's just out of character. But when a bride is unyielding on her childfree policy, there is a price to pay with the family members hurt the most by her decision. 

Maybe next time she'll think twice about uninviting the flower girl and the ring bearer...

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  • Cheezburger Image 10564132864
    via Tetiana Nekrasova
  • AITA for telling my SIL my kids wont be traveling to Europe with her for her wedding because she didn't invite them to the reception
    via Individual-Road3588
  • My SIL was in my wedding and because we live in different countries (along with the rest of my bridesmaids) we ran the dates past everyone because of travel/work etc.
    via Individual-Road3588
  • My SIL is getting married in a year. We both work in education but she is taking this year off. She selected the date to get married two weeks before school gets out. She
    via Individual-Road3588
  • has two children herself but her revenue is 45 mins from her house. We just had our 4th baby and she is getting married a few days before our babies bday. The cost of
    via Individual-Road3588
  • traveling for the wedding with the 4 kids is around 6k. We planned to make this our big family trip since we all havnt been there in a few years.
    via Individual-Road3588
  • Cheezburger Image 10564132608
    via Tetiana Nekrasova
  • We recently were told that she wanted two of our children to be in the wedding. She also wants all of our kids in suits/ dresses for pictures before the wedding. They can attend the
    via Individual-Road3588
  • pictures and the ceremony but can't attend the rest of the wedding. We were told she found a (random) babysitter to watch them at the hotel.
    via Individual-Road3588
  • (Which is an absolute no for me, we don't use babysitters where we live so we wouldn't in another country period).
    via Individual-Road3588
  • After taking time to process my thoughts. I emailed her and said since the flights would cost 6k, plus a babysitter for the wedding, plus the kids would have to take off the last
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  • week of school, not to mention (I forgot to mention) (I can't take that time off for work due to my job restrictions, I can take a long weekend), and the kids would have to sit in a
    via Individual-Road3588
  • hotel room for the wedding. I said due to all of this I don't think having them travel there makes sense. I explained my husband and I can go for the weekend and our kids wouldn't
    via Individual-Road3588
  • be in the wedding if they can't actually attend the wedding. I explained that with my work I will only be able to go for the weekend and we aren't going
    via Individual-Road3588
  • to have our family vacation be 3 days long for 6k of flights. I explained that them missing school and traveling all the way there is a bit ridiculous if they can't attend the wedding
    via Individual-Road3588
  • (they are under the age of 6). I explained that we would all love to celebrate with them but because of their school and our work, my husband and I will go for the weekend and
    via Individual-Road3588
  • then in a few weeks when school is out, the whole family will fly there and stay for a couple of weeks. They will be out of school and we won't have to deal with a random babysit or work issues.
    via Individual-Road3588
  • She called my husband crying and saying she was sorry and wished the kids could come and get dressed up and take pictures all together. I explained we could pay for
    via Individual-Road3588
  • Mom playing with her young kids
    via Tetiana Nekasrova

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • their seats at the reception and meals but she said her rule is no kids. She said a lot of people have kids and it's too many. I explained that couldn't it be an exception for the kids
    via Individual-Road3588
  • in the wedding and their siblings who are traveling abroad. She said no. So I explained that it would be our family vacation and we would want to come for a couple of
    via Individual-Road3588
  • weeks, not take the kids out of school, and not rely on a random babysitter to watch them in a hotel room (which we would never and they know that). Btw it's a huge wedding like 350-400 guests and
    via Individual-Road3588
  • everyone they know so anyone that is family couldn't babysit either because they are attending. My husband feels like it's not rude for her not to invite the
    via Individual-Road3588
  • kids to the reception because "she's the bride" and that's "her rule". However, just to add an additional layer, my husband told me I couldn't say no kids allowed when we got married because ppl were traveling abroad.
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  • I know there are a lot of layers here. And I'm not upset at all for not being a bridesmaid, I'm actually happy for that.
    via Individual-Road3588
  • I wonder should she should have asked my kids school schedule before planning to have them in the wedding without telling us the date. I
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  • don't care if she wanted the date she wanted and didn't want to ask us but I feel like she also then needs to know it may not work out if we can't swing it. She also knows my
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  • work and what I do and knows I can't take time off then so that was strange to me. My husband and I can't split
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  • ourselves up and he goes with some and I stay home because our baby will be turning 1 that weekend of the wedding and we would wish to be together. There's a lot here. AITA
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  • Just to clarify my husband is from this country and that is where the wedding is. It's not a destination wedding, it's where they live. So we live in another country and would have to travel to them. We have been
    via Individual-Road3588
  • wanting to go there and havnt been in a couple of years due to cost and pregnancies. We planned to go but when the date came it was like ohh shoot that's tough. Then when we juss heard no kids, I was
    via Individual-Road3588
  • like waitttt what. Now it's just gotten complicated with my work, the kids not invited, having to buy suits to get dressed up for a ceremony and then put in a hotel, like nahhhh not sitting right with me. I
    via Individual-Road3588
  • didn't want to not be empathic that's we havnt seen a lot of this family in a while so I suggested we go three weeks later with the kids. And me and my husband go for the wedding weekend.
    via Individual-Road3588
  • RaymondBeau... so she wants you to pay thousands of dollars so she can use your kids as props at a destination wedding and then give them to some stranger to take care of in a foreign country?
    via RaymondBeau
  • UnPracticed_Pagan NTA that sounds absurd that you would put children IN THE WEDDING PARTY but then disinvite them to the reception, not to mention all the costs of abroad.. Nah, I'd rather not go /let them go myself either
    via UnPracticed_Pagan

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